This Is The Stupidest Story In History And It Involves Adam Levine’s Feelings About America

05.29.13 51 Comments

Here’s what happened.

So some contestants got eliminated on The Voice last night and apparently they were pretty good because after they were voted off by the viewers or whatever Adam Levine was all “Ugh, I hate America” and I guess the people watching heard him mumble it because they were like “WHATCHU SAY BOUT ‘MERICA, BUB? HASHTAG AMERICA HASHTAG THESE COLORS DON’T RUN” and “WHAT DOES CONTEXT MEAN WHO CARES MAYBE WE OUGHTA SEND SEAL TEAM 6 AFTER THIS GUY,” so Adam Levine opened Twitter and was all “Here are some definitions of words like ‘joke’ and ‘lighthearted'” and a bunch of quote unquote legitimate entertainment outlets covered it like it was an actual quote unquote CONTROVERSY instead of just a bunch of stupid people on Twitter getting all riled up over a total non-thing said during a singing contest that once featured a judge who had multiple animal sidekicks, which Adam Levine’s publicist presumably saw and was like “OMG ADAM OMG WE HAVE TO PUT OUT A STATEMENT OMG,” so today, a little after noon Eastern time, Adam Levine actually and for seriously released a statement through NBC affirming that he does, in fact, love America, and now I’m going to go bash my forehead into the side of my building until my skull or the brick gives way.

The video is below. Don’t watch it. The end.

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