This Jackass Should Be Euthanized

06.08.10 8 years ago 6 Comments

You may remember Jason Wahler, the Colin Farrell knock-off pictured above, as Lauren Conrad’s boyfriend with the chinstrap beard back when people still talked about “The Hills.” This past weekend, Wahler, 23, was arrested for the seventh time in recent years after he allegedly struck a woman at a party.

Wahler was taken into custody around 1:45 a.m., booked on a misdemeanor battery charge, and is currently being held on $20,000 bail.

“I am ashamed of everything,” Wahler said to Us Magazine after back-to-back arrests in March for a DUI and a bar fight in Mexico. “I never want to drink again … God did that to me, so maybe I would be at [rock] bottom and want to climb my way to the top.” [Fancast]

Man, I wish God would stop doing these things to Jason Wahler. Making him drink and fight people. Knock it off, God.

You know, everyone freaked out at the notion of death panels when health care reform was getting pushed, but I think an aggressive euthanasia program would improve both our country AND the quality of our television programming. I haven’t worked out the details of who should live and who should die, but needless to say, if you’re an entitled prick from a rich white family and your only skills are smoking, growing facial hair, and getting arrested seven times before your 24th birthday, I see a bright future for you. As fertilizer.

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