Let’s Dream-Cast The Upcoming ‘Three’s Company’ Movie

“If Baywatch and Full House can come back, why not Three’s Company?”

That’s how I imagine the pitch meeting for the just-announced Three’s Company movie went. Or maybe Abby Kohn and Marc Silverstein, who wrote He’s Just Not That Into You, held up a sign that read “Recognizable Property = Money.” Either way, the pitch worked, because Kohn and Silverstein are working on a screenplay based on the long-running ABC sitcom about a single man living with two single women, and the sexy wackiness that ensues.

According to the Hollywood Reporter, “New Line and the writers and producer [Robert Cort] are planning on having their feature be set in 1970s.” That begs the question: Which current celebrities do we most want to see as Jack, Janet, and Chrissy (sorry, Cindy) in tight ’70s attire? It’s dream-cast time.

Bill Hader as Jack

This is a gimme. Hader’s a charming straight man who can still land a joke (think: all of Trainwreck). Also, it would keep him from agreeing to voice another bird or pig, or whatever, in the inevitable Angry Birds Movie sequel.

Tina Fey as Marcia Clark as Janet

If Tina Fey wants to play Janet as Tina Fey, that would be fine. Tina Fey’s great! But a much better choice would be Tina Fey’s character from Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, Marcia Clark (not to be confused with the other Marcia Clark, even though they’re essentially the same person — this is confusing). She already has the hair for the part. That’s half the battle.

Anna Faris as Chrissy

Three’s Company will most likely go with comedy legends Kate Upton, or Kelly Rohrbach, or someone from Taylor Swift’s #squad as Chrissy, but Anna Faris is the only actress who can bring depth to her blonde ditziness. She’s the reason The House Bunny works — there’s grace to her gracelessness.

Or all three will be played by Dwayne Johnson, Klumps-style. Probably easier.

(Via The Hollywood Reporter)