TLC’s Holiday Programming: ‘Extreme Christmas Trees’, ‘Big Fat Gypsy Christmas’

There are few things I love to hate more than TLC’s programming, and TLC’s programming is rarely more hate-able than during the holiday season. Here’s only a sampling of what cable’s most shameless network (aside from maybe E!) has on tap in December:

On Extreme Christmas Trees, the special uncovers the lengths some will go to make their tree really sparkle… One is so spectacular, it lands in the Swedish Art Gallery and another in Las Vegas boasts more than $200,000 in ornaments…

Invasion of the Christmas Lights: Europe follows six families try to create the most elaborate lighting displays in that part of the world. No matter how much hard work, ingenuity, and risk the task takes, they make sure the holidays get their proper, um, spotlight…

TODDLERS & TIARAS HOLIDAY EPISODEThe holidays come alive at the Southern Celebrity Glitzmas Pageant in New Jersey. Three-year-old Laila and her mom have gone all out with a Rockette routine while scene stealers Riley, 5 and Bob, 6 tear up the stage with their fierce drag queen moves.

MY BIG FAT GYPSY CHRISTMAS — TLC peels back yet another intriguing layer of traveller culture as the cameras revisit dress-maker Thelma Madine to a small town in Ireland where roaming travellers return each year to celebrate Christmas (along with extravagant weddings and First Communions). This festive episode will catch up with some of the characters from the series and promises to deliver over-the-top parties and of course huge dresses. [THR]

To recap: EXTREME XXXMAS TREES! Crazy Christmas lights… IN EUROPE! Toddler Rockettes! And HUUUUUUUUGE gypsy dresses!!!! Even with excessive exclamation points and all-caps, this sounds boring as sh*t to me. Sometime I really don’t understand America.

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