11.05.09 8 years ago 7 Comments

Fresh off of giving birth to her fourth child, Heidi Klum will host the Victoria’s Secret fashion show on November 19th. CBS’s telecast of the show will air on December 1st, after all of the sexiest parts I want to see have been edited out.

[Klum’s] fellow Angels aren’t surprised to see Heidi back to work. “She can do it all,” says fellow Angel (and new mom) Alessandra Ambrosio. “She’s a great mom and she’s got so much going on. She’s an inspiration.”

No, Alessandra. What’s an inspiration is you looking like this one year after having a baby. Seriously, what’s wrong with the rest of you ladies? Slacking off, not working out all the time, not wearing lingerie every day, having jobs other than being professionally good-looking… it’s just laziness. Laziness and not having perfect Brazilian genes. And it makes me sick.

We gotta get Susan B. Anthony off the silver dollar; she’s setting a bad example for women. Sacajawea, too. I appreciate the attempt to move closer to gender and racial equity, but the U.S. Mint needs to quit making unsexy money. Put Marisa Miller on the $50 bill already. Ulysses S. Grant was a crappy president anyway.

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