07.06.09 9 years ago 13 Comments

UPDATE: It was, indeed, a hoax — the result of 4chan hacking Green’s website. This is what happens when I get too close to the news cycle. Up next: stories from last Friday!

Comedian and actor Tom Green — most recently seen on “The Celebrity Apprentice” — is reportedly in serious condition after a minor car accident turned into a violent attack.

Green was allegedly driving a Mercedez [sic] in Fullerton, California when his vehicle struck a pickup truck towing landscaping equipment. Three men from the pickup truck pulled Green from his car and beat him before fleeing the scene.

“He didn’t have a chance against these men who attacked him before he said a single word to them,” says a witness.  Green, 37, was unresponsive when paramedics arrived. No other details on the alleged incident were available.

Holy crap.  I really wish this was some huge hoax by Tom Green, but it seems to be real.  This may be the craziest thing involving Tom Green that I’ve ever heard, and I don’t get to say that a lot about ugly dudes who marry Drew Barrymore, drink cow’s milk straight from the udder, and make TV specials about their own testicular cancer.  Get well, Tom.

[via Olivia Munn]

DISCLAIMER: Please note that the [original] headline [“Tom Green car wreck/attacked by Mexicans”] is facetious.  Warming Glow’s non-discrimination policy explicitly states that not all landscapers are Mexicans.  Some are Guatemalan.

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