‘True Blood’ Got Exactly What It Wanted In A Response From Ted Cruz

The final act of this week’s episode of True Blood, “Lost Cause,” was begging for attention. In hot pursuit of Sarah Newlin, the goody-two-shoes Christian gal who teamed up with the fictional governor of Louisiana and a pharmaceutical company to launch a plague against the world’s vampire population, the diseased Eric Northman and his prodigy, Pam De Beaufort, found themselves at a Republican fundraiser *clap, clap, clap* deep in the heart of Texas. Except unlike the governor of Louisiana, whose head was torn from his body by Bill Compton to no response from the federal government, this fundraiser was for an actual politician – Senator Ted Cruz.

“I’m a Republicunt,” Pam said with that dry wit that we’ve grown to love her for, but in this case we knew that something bigger was in play here. As the Yakuza arrived to face off against Eric and Pam in their own hunt for Sarah, a number of nameless and practically faceless extras were sliced to bits and gunned down in the background, and that doesn’t sit well with Mr. Cruz and his constituents.

Of all the places I never thought to be mentioned, HBO’s True Blood vampire show would have to be near the top of the list. Sunday night, they aired a misogynist and profanity-ridden episode where Texas Republicans are murdered attending a “Ted Cruz fundraiser.”

Well, I’m sorry to have lost the vampire vote, but am astonished (and amused) that HBO is suggesting that hard-core leftists are blood-sucking fiends…. (Via Facebook)

Epic zing, senator. But while 10,914 of Cruz’s followers have liked this response, another 1,896 have shared it, and 1,568 have commented on it with words of support for their brave leader, this was all about one thing – attention for True Blood. There was never a reason for Cruz to be named in “Lost Cause,” nor was there a purpose for George W. Bush’s image to be displayed throughout the background, other than to ruffle the feathers of the Republicans and start a flame war that invokes the name of True Blood with five episodes left in the series.

Nobody is going to have an intelligent debate over the morals of a show that spends 48 minutes boring its loyal viewers with poorly-delivered thoughts on love and death in Bon Temps, with softcore vampire-on-human sex sprinkled in between to make sure we’re still awake. But with headlines like “Ted Cruz: True Blood Sucks,” “Ted Cruz Throws A Fit Over ‘True Blood’ Cameo,” “Ted Cruz takes bite out of HBO’s ‘True Blood’” and my extreme personal favorite “HBO’s ‘True Blood’ Encourages Violence Against Conservatives” dominating the Google news search right now, it’s safe to say that the show’s producers are pushing for a ratings spike for all the wrong reasons.

But good on all of us, my stupid self especially, for tackling this news that really matters. Next week: Why Nancy Pelosi thinks that Hot in Cleveland is wrong for not giving her a recurring character.