03.18.09 9 years ago 13 Comments

Dear Americans Who Watched Every Iteration of Bravo’s First Three Series of “Real Housewives” That Paved the Way for Bravo to Make “The Real Housewives of New Jersey“: I hate you.  Please remove your genitals and microwave them on high for 10 minutes.

The newest cast of Housewives is close-knit and includes friends, a pair of sisters — who married brothers! — and their sister-in-law. The show is set to premiere May 12 (11 p.m. ET) on Bravo.

I’d also like to include some random sentences from the descriptions of the newest Housewives:

A former cosmetologist, she is now a stay-at-home mom, but still loves to pamper herself… her husband Joe owns a successful construction company… she also loves to shop, get spa treatments and spend time at her beach house on the Jersey Shore… “You either love me or you hate me, there is no in between,” says the single mom [again: NOT a housewife -Ed.] of two daughters. She prides herself as one of the first female American Express Black card members in New Jersey.

Stay tuned for “The Real Housewives of Cape Girardeau, Missouri.”  A mother of six, Barb enjoys going to church, funnel cakes, vacationing in the Ozarks, and weekend trips to Branson. Stereotypes make for great TV!

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