UPDATE: The Creepy GEICO Talking Pig Does, In Fact, Have His Driver’s License

A few weeks back, we discussed the incredibly disturbing GEICO commercial that features a young woman trying to seduce a creepy talking pig after the pig’s car breaks down. In the post, we asked a total of fifty very important questions, including, “Does he have his license?,” “Is it okay to have sex with a pig if the pig is human enough to talk and drive a car?,” and “Are people who are bigoted against talking pigs called ‘pigots’?” While GEICO has been shamefully silent in regard to 49 of those questions, the latest commercial in the series, in which the pig gets pulled over while driving his newly repaired car, does provide an answer to one from our list: Yes, the GEICO pig has his driver’s license.

At first glance, I thought we actually had answers to two of our questions, with the second being “Is it impossible for the local authorities to charge him with driving without a license (or any offense) because criminal statutes are all tailored toward humans?” But as you can see below, the police officer who pulls the pig over does NOT, in fact, issue a ticket or charge him with anything, opting instead to let him off with a warning about the busted tail light. This means there is still the possibility that the officer has no authority to impose any official sanctions for the pig’s actions, and is just issuing an empty threat. This would explain the pig’s stupid smug face and smart mouth. (“Do you know why I pulled you over today?” “Beeeeeeecause I’m a pig driving a convertible.”)

It also raises a number of new questions, namely “Do police officers in this fictional talking pig world often harass pigs and pull them over for pretextual reasons out of prejudice and/or bias?,” and “If so, do you think there is a talking pig lawyer named Johnny Porkran who could represent them in a class action suit?”

We will continue to keep you updated as more information becomes available.

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