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UPROXX 20: Joey Pollari Has Had Enough Of All You Negative Nancies

joey pollari

Joey Pollari is an actor perhaps best known for portraying Eric Tanner on ABC’s American Crime. You may have also seen him on the Disney Channel original films, Avalon High and Skyrunners. American Crime airs on Wednesday nights at 10 p.m. EST on ABC.

Joey was nice enough to take a few minutes out of his busy schedule recently to answer a few questions from us.

1. You walk into a bar. What do you order from the bartender?

Gin and tonic, because something about pine needles just says “great times.”

2. Who’s your favorite person to follow on Twitter and/or Instagram?

I’m a devotee of @perfumegenius on both platforms, but I’m a freak for a few artists on Instagram and I’m always checking to see if they’ve posted: @john_michael_metelerkamp, @zachhobbs, and @taytaypjay. But I also love high-intensity belly laughter, so @yourmomsatonmyface.tv is my old reliable.

3. What’s currently waiting for you on your DVR?

I don’t have a DVR (or live TV), but I’m anxiously awaiting the time when I get to turn into a couch and watch Mr. Robot and Making a Murderer. When is RuPaul’s Drag Race back on?

4. It’s your last meal — what are you going out with?

A vegan BBQ smorgasbord, goblets of red wine, sour patch kids, and best friends.

5. What websites do you visit on a regular basis?

Giphy, Any Decent Music, and Brain Pickings for giggles, jams, and inspiration, respectively.

6. What’s the most frequently played song on your mobile device?

Most days, you can find me screaming the lyrics to “Fade Away” by Susanne Sundfør, “Crosswords” by Panda Bear, and “Peach, Plum, Pear” by Joanna Newsom.

7. The first face that comes to mind when you think “punchable?”

Negative Nancies.

8. What’s the last thing you googled?

How to spell Negative Nancies.

9. Dogs or cats?

Kitties.

10. Best concert of your life was…?

I’m realizing I’m a man of three-way ties (Who knew? I’m learning a lot about myself here. Thanks, Uproxx!), so here’s another to continue patterns. I saw The Knife at Coachella two years ago and they had me doing tribal dance moves I didn’t even know I knew. I’m forever grateful for that experience of spell-casting/summoning weather patterns. Next would have to be Future Islands, who I’ve seen a few times now, and every time, Sam Herring is a transcendent performer who is unafraid to mean every word. Also, he does very admirable high-kicks. By the end of their shows, I’ve usually danced and cried in equal measure. And just this last December, I saw one of my all-time artistic heroes, Joanna Newsom at the Fitzgerald Theater in my home state of Minnesota. I was a ghost afterwards.

11. What book are you most likely to give as a gift?

More pattern! Either The War of Art by Steven Pressfield for artistic direction, Tiny Beautiful Things by Cheryl Strayed for heart remedies, or Inherent Vice by Thomas Pynchon for paranoiac funnies.

12. What’s the nicest thing anyone has ever done for you?

My family has supported me ever since I was three years old and doing spontaneous performances as the Wicked Witch of the West inside of grocery stores. They’re like Rock’em Sock’em Robots of loving tolerance.

13. South Park or Family Guy?

Adventure Time.

14. You have an entire day to do whatever you want. What would you do?

A day with great friends, good eats, bumpin’ tunes, and a beautiful locale is every piece of the pumpkin pie.

15. What movie can you not resist watching if it’s on?

Romy and Michele’s High School Reunion. Zoolander. Waiting for Guffman. I love movies about clueless people.

16. The sports team or teams you’re most passionate about?

The Celestial Beavers. Just kidding. I don’t follow sports. Can you tell? But I would if there was one called the Celestial Beavers. Maybe they’re a hockey team. No. Rugby. Wait. Cup Stacking? Up to you, America.

17. Where did you eat the best meal of your life?

I think I went into a catatonic state after eating at Lee, in Toronto, Canada, but my mama takes the cake for making three-course extravaganzas that get to the heart of every matter. Love you, Mama.

18. The last movie you saw in a theater?

Anomalisa. It crushed me in the loveliest way a movie can crush you. Which I guess means slowly and sweetly? That actually sounds really painful. I’m losing myself here. Anyways, Anomalisa is fantastic.

19. Who was your first celebrity crush?

This is a strange question to answer (and ask?) as my first crush had to be pretty early on. Maybe three or four? I’m going with Barney or Judy Garland. Answering this question with grace seems difficult.

20. What would you cook if Nic Cage was coming to your house for dinner?

I cook a mean quinoa, sweet potato, black bean, and sautéed kale bowl with home-made horseradish. But I’m imagining Nic Cage would smash his plate against the wall and start telling me of a secret prophecy that only he’s privy to, which part of me believes because Nic Cage is engaging and his emotions are palpable, but then I’m thinking, “I’ve seen so many Nic Cage movies, this could turn sour,” until my judgement gets the better of me and I’m swayed by his acting powers (see: Adaptation, Raising Arizona, Moonstruck) and Nic Cage and I are both painting the walls with horseradish. It happens fast.

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