UPROXX 20: Neal Brennan Won’t Talk To Matt Stone In A Grocery Store Unless He Feels Appropriately Cute

Neal Brennan is a writer and comedian perhaps best known as the co-creator of Comedy Central’s Chappelle’s Show, for which he received three Emmy nominations for his work writing and producing virtually every sketch on the show, along with his fellow co-creator, Dave Chappelle. More recently, Brennan has directed episodes of The Mindy Project and The New Girl, along with several sketches featured on Inside Amy Schumer. Additionally, Brennan co-hosts a podcast with fellow writer/comedian Moshe Kasher called “The Champs.”

Brennan’s new hour-long standup special, Women and Black Dudes, premieres Saturday night, January 18th, at midnight EST on Comedy Central. It was taped at the Civic Theater in New Orleans last year.

Neal was nice enough to take a few minutes out of his busy schedule recently to answer a few questions from us.

1. You walk into a bar. What do your order from the bartender?

I order a Corona. I don’t always drink beer, but when I do, I prefer something a nineteen year old spring breaker would drink his first time in Cancun.

2. Who’s your favorite person to follow on Twitter?

Alain de Botton. He’s an author and philosopher. Not a lot of jokes from him, just pitch sad musings about life. Such as: “So easy to love people in memory: and so much more challenging when they are right there in front of you.” He fired that baby off on January 3rd while I was busy cooking up a dick joke.

3. What’s currently waiting for you on your DVR/TiVO?

Frontline. People are constantly harping about how they’ve seen every Game of Thrones, but I’ve seen every Frontline. It’s hard to meet girls at bars based on that. “How about the King Joffrey?” can get start a convo. “How about the Michael Kirk piece on SAC Capital?” will end one.

4. It’s your last meal — what are you going out with?

A shitload of dessert. Though I’m reminded of an old joke that Adam Sandler bought from Dave Attell in 1989. “What would I order for my last meal? Unlimited salad bar.”

5. What websites do you visit on a regular basis?

Twitter, gizmodo, espn, NYT, reddit. Had to take Huffpost off of there because they were offering links that I thought would be print, but ended up being a video from the sexy public access channel that they’ve started in their offices. Fool me once.

6. What’s the most frequently played song on your iPod?

2+2+5 by Radiohead. It’s both fast and sad, much like myself.

7. The first face that comes to mind when you think “punchable”?

Tie between Neil Cavuto and Jared Leto. Cavuto would slump over and whimper in my mind. But I feel like Jared Leto would be like, “No, it’s cool man,” but then secretly put some spell on me that prevented girls from having sex with me for six months or something.

8. What’s your favorite meme?

This is impolitic, but the “niggas be like/bitches be like” meme.

9. Dogs or cats?

Dogs. Cats are entitled dickheads.

10. Best concert of your life was…?

Maybe the first one…George Michael…Faith Tour…1987. That guy’s having a great life. Banging dudes in parks, getting high and sleeping in cars, then later on the same day, he’s a handsome dude with a perfect voice. Or Beastie Boys 2001 – benefit concert right after 9/11. Great show. So many hits.

11. What book are you most likely to give as a gift?

Ten Minute Toughness. It’s a book about performance psychology and how to prepare for such thing. Good shit. No idea who wrote it.

12. What’s the nicest thing anyone has ever done for you?

Dave Chappelle asked me to write Half Baked with him. Changed my life forever. Had an official career after that.

13. South Park or Family Guy?

South Park. I find it bafflingly good. I saw Matt Stone in the grocery store the other day but didn’t say hi to him because I didn’t think I looked cute enough. That’s respect.

14. You have an entire day to do whatever you want. What would you do?

I’m a comedian. That’s pretty much every day for me. So…answer online questionnaires.

15. What movie can you not resist watching if it’s on?


16. Android or iPhone?

Iphone. I had an android but the battery stunk.

17. Where did you eat the best meal of your life?

I’m vegan. There’s a vegan place in midtown Manhattan called, “Han Gawi” that’s the best restaurant I’ve ever been to, vegan or otherwise.

18. The last movie you saw in a theater?

The Armstrong Lie, directed by Alex Gibney. Fantastic. And I got a joke for my act out of it. Perfect.

19. Who was your first celebrity crush?

The original Wonder Woman, Linda Carter. Took the air right out of my tiny lungs.

20. What would you cook if Nic Cage was coming to your house for dinner?

I’d make mac n’ cheese, but I’d call it “Nic n’ Cage.” It’s a stupid joke, but me and Nic would laugh our asses off about it, just ‘cuz.

Follow Neal Brennan on Twitter here. Here’s a sampling from Women and Black Dudes, which airs this Saturday night on Comedy Central at midnight EST…

(Previously: Christopher Titus. Photo by Derick Hingle.)