UPROXX Video: ‘Love Pearls’ Will Cure What Ails Your Semen-Starved Skin

Look, ladies, we’re all in agreement that semen is the best thing for your skin, right? I mean, this is what boyfriends have been telling girlfriends and husbands have been telling wives since the beginning of time. And men would NEVER lie to women, right? RIGHT?

Of course they wouldn’t!

But let’s be real, extracting all that jizz from the dicks of your men is exhausting, amirite? Well, luckily for you, there’s a new product on the market: “Love Pearls.” And yes, it’s exactly what you think it is.