VIDEO: A Chinese Girl In Knee-High Boots Disarms A Suicidal Woman By Kicking Scissors Out Of Her Hand

Let’s say, hypothetically, that the image above is from a Chinese news report about a suicidal, mentally unstable, scissor-wielding woman who was terrorizing passersby on the sidewalk next to a busy, downtown street. And let’s also say, again, just hypothetically, that the whole thing came to a safe conclusion after the young girl on the right — who practices Tae Kwon Do, and, as you can see, happens to be wearing short shorts and knee-high boots — disarmed the woman by distracting her with money and then kicking the scissors out of her hand. That would be something you would be interested in, yes? Well, HOO BOY, do I have good news for you guys.

BONUS: The heroes at LiveLeak not only found this amazing video (posted below), they also ran the whole thing through Google translate, which resulted in these three uncut diamonds of sentences.

With more and more people crowd, Hei Yinv emotions more and more excited, he began a sprinkle banknotes into heaven. Help to pick up the bill to a few girls at an age less than 20-year-old girl suddenly the crowd out.

Li said that she looks younger than 20 years old, wearing boots with shorts in the cold, exposed legs suck very eyes.

If “sprinkling banknotes into heaven” doesn’t become the 2013 version of “making it rain,” I will be livid.