Previously on AMC’s The Walking Dead: Michonne eats cheese and everyone heads to Terminus.
5. Rosita
As a heterosexual man who is now a T-Mobile subscriber, I have no complaints about Rosita’s outfit…but c’mon, what are you thinking? With all the walkers around, it stands to reason that you’d want to cover up as much of your body as possible (I would never take off Glenn’s riot gear, in the Georgia heat), and yet Rosita’s still walking around like Lara Croft with hoop earrings. About those earrings: you’re practically begging for a zombie to grab them, like a fish biting a hook. Sexy? Yes. Practical? Haha.
4. Blonde Girl
Oh great, can’t wait for next week’s episode, featuring more of Blonde Girl’s junior-high narration and uncomfortable sexual tension with Daryl (who deserves better). DAMN YOU HYUNDAI.
3. Deaf Bandits
Home Alone has the Wet Bandits; The Walking Dead has the Deaf Bandits. They couldn’t hear sh*t at a Nickelback concert. The downstairs Bandits are either so used to fights that they don’t care about a huge amount of upstairs noise that’s clearly wrestlin’ and/or rasslin’ (unlikely), or they can’t hear anything (possibly), or they’re total idiots (probably). They deserved to have been outsmarted by Rick.
2. Abraham and Rosita
Eugene is the one man who could save the world — let’s leave him, a nerdy nerd who nerds, all by himself while we argue with a scrawny dude, who can somehow bring down the jacked Abraham with one punch, and his female companion. I’m sure zombies won’t begin to accumulate even through we’re shouting and in the middle of the road and…uh oh.
1. Deaf Bandit Taking a Dump
I have about a million questions here: what was the Deaf Bandit doing on the toilet? The toilet seat was down, unlike his pants, so he wasn’t taking a dump, was he? Is this how people find comfort in a post-apocalyptic zombie wasteland, by continuing to use the toilet despite the lack of electricity? Shame he had to die — I would have very much liked to have gotten to know this man of poopy mystery.
Updated bad decision rankings:
3: CORAL Grimes and Rosita
2: Abraham
1: Michonne’s Zombies, Rick, Tara Chambler’s Acting Coach, Eugene, Maggie, Little Blonde Girl, Blonde Girl, Deaf Bandit Taking a Dump, and the Deaf Bandits
