Weekend Preview: British People, Awards, and Pageants

Downton Abbey (PBS) – Did you know that the whole first season of this show is available for free on PBS’s website until the 17th? You didn’t? And you, like me, have really been meaning to get caught up on it because all those stupid smart people keep saying how good it is? Sounds like we’ve got a busy weekend.

Golden Globe Awards (NBC, Sunday) – HAVE YOU GUYS HEARD THAT RICKY GERVAIS IS EDGY AND DOESN’T PULL PUNCHES? I KNOW! SO ZANY. (More importantly, did you know that we’re live-blogging the show over at the Uproxx mothership? I’m gonna get drunk and call Fassbender a wanker. He knows what he did.)

Fringe (FOX, Friday) – What it do, nerds?

Miss America Pageant (ABC, Saturday) – Whatever happened to that one beauty pageant girl who loved to party? You know, the blonde one. I liked her.

Saturday Night Live (NBC, Saturday) – Hosted by Daniel Radcliffe, with musical guest Lana Del Rey. I have never seen nor heard anything either of those people have been involved in. I’m okay with that.

Hell on Wheels (AMC, Sunday) – Season finale. I couldn’t really get into this show because one of my history teachers spoiled it for me back in high school when she taught us that the railroad eventually got completed. Same lady ruined Titanic for me. What a bitch.

Napoleon Dynamite (FOX, Sunday) – Series premiere. Kinda weird how every single person from the movie was available to do this cartoon eight years later. It’s almost like the movie was an overrated piece of junk and their careers never took off the way everyone thought they would. Huh.

Shameless/House of Lies/Californication (Showtime, Sunday) – I just finished my “Californication” spec script. Lemme know what you guys think: DAVID DUCHOVNY: Hey, I’m kind of a tool. PRETTY GIRL: [removes shirt]. (repeat until credits)

There’s entirely too much new TV this weekend to squeeze into this post. Feel free to add anything I didn’t include in the comments.