A Shy Man Named Ned Tries To Book A Trip To Westworld: A One Act Play

10.21.16 3 Comments


At a travel agency, where an awkward recent lottery winner named Ned has just had his number called and is making his way from the waiting area to the desk of Phil, one of the agents

PHIL: Mornin’, fella. What can I do for you today?

NED: I’d, uh, like to book a vacation.

PHIL: Great! Where to? Miami? Hawaii? Maybe a little romantic getaway in Paris for you and the Mrs.?

NED: Um, no. I’m not married.

PHIL: Ah, a single man, lookin’ for a bachelor’s getaway. What are we thinkin’ here, Vegas? A cruise? Because let me tell you, we have some great deals on cruises right now, and there is no better way to meet yourself a little lady than to be out there on the high seas, that salty ocean air waftin’ about, lookin’ like Leo DiCaprio in Titanic.

NED: Didn’t he drown in that movie, though?

PHIL: Hmm, well I suppose he did. Fair point. No cruise. What did you have in mind?

NED: [whispers, starts acting real shifty] Westworld.

PHIL: What’s that? I couldn’t hear you. This dang AC makes such a racket.

NED: [a tiny bit louder] Um, Westworld.

PHIL: Son, for the life of me I can’t figure out what you’re saying. Speak up!

NED: I’d like to go to Westworld.

PHIL: Westworld! Well I’ll be, I didn’t have you pegged for the Westworld type.

NED: I just think it could be f-…

PHIL: [Yelling to the back.] Hey, Shirley! Grab the Westworld brochures!

NED: [Looks around nervously.] I was hoping maybe we could keep this a little quie-…

PHIL: Now, I should tell you, and I’m sure you’ve done your research on this because you look like a thorough fella, this could get a bit pricy. Like 40 grand a day. You able to swing that?

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