What We Learned From Last Night’s D*ck-Swinging ‘The Walking Dead’

After another hour of solid drama in last night’s The Walking Dead, the plot still hasn’t progressed much, as each side in the Woodbury versus The Prison solidifies its position in the chess match leading to season’s final showdown (there are three episodes remaining after last night). What we did learn, however, is that one side is willing to seek a peace — or at least pretend that it will — if the other side gives up their Queen piece.

Let’s jump straight into the episode.

If you skip over all the scattered moments in between characters from both sides in last night’s episode, “Arrow on the Doorpost,” there was only one major revelation to come out of the episode: The Governor said he will agree to leave Rick to his prison if he’ll simply hand over Michonne, with whom The Governor has a major beef on account of Michonne killing his beloved zombie child and because Michonne took his eye.

That revelation, however, puts last week’s stellar episode into an even better perspective: They needed to make Michonne a more likable and thoughtful character so the decision whether to hand Michonne over to The Governor and face certain death, or put the lives of everyone in the prison at risk, would be a more difficult one for Rick.

Ultimately, we know it won’t matter whether Rick hands Michonne over or not. The Governor has made up his mind: He’s going to (try to) “slaughter” the prison gang, but the dilemma he’s posed for Rick is brilliant strategically. If Rick gives up Michonne, not only does The Governor get his revenge, but the prison would be without its strongest fighter, making it all the more easy for his Woodbury army to pick them off. On the other hand, if Rick decides against handing over Michonne, the rest of the prison gang is certain to find out and the risk he posed to all is all on behalf of one is certain to rankle the troops.

Indeed, it was smart for Rick to not tip his hand to his people because, while it’s tempting to leave Michonne’s fate to the group democracy, it’s that very question that could divide them. Moreover, much of the rest aren’t as invested emotionally in Michonne, having not been part of last week’s expedition nor understanding that she has a sense of humor. How would the group divide?

It probably won’t ultimately matter because of the little moments in last night’s episode that meant so much. Specifically, the dick-swinging contest between Ceaser, The Governor’s henchman, and Daryl, Rick’s right hand.

Not only did it provide the episode’s only burst of violence — and a spectacular display it was — after Daryl and Ceasar measured their dicks against one another, they found some common bond.

Likewise, Hershel and Milton had a humanizing moment, both realizing that — if they could put the war aside — they’d probably not only be friends, but good for each other. Hershel, after all, provides an interesting study for Milton to analyze, and Milton’s scientific mind could be put to great use by more virtuous people.

My sense is that those moments will loom large. If Milton, and especially Ceaser, can find the good in Daryl, Hershel, and the rest of the prison gang, they may be provided a fresher perspective on The Governor. They may realize that he truly is the villain.

That’s most likely what was at play with Merle last night. Merle, who wanted to be protective of his brother, was willing to risk his already tenuous relationship with the prison gang and put their lives at risk because he knows the danger posed by The Governor, especially to Darryl. He’s been on that side. He knows that The Governor is a sick dude, and while Merle isn’t exactly Mr. Hero, he’s willing to take any side that protects both himself and his brother.

We also learned that maybe Beth has a little spark in her, after all.

At this point, that leaves poor, pathetic Andrea stuck in the middle, still as useless a character as she’s been since the end of season two. She’s powerless, frustrating, and equivocal, and in a show that’s managed to shed most of its dead weight, Andrea is still a reminder of the series’ weaker aspects. It feels like either side is as willing to take her as they are willing to sacrifice her to the crossfire.

Finally, and in the episode’s only cheery note, Glenn and Maggie finally reconciled. Glenn was magnanimous, recognizing his own selfishness in their brief fallout, while Maggie was eager to do some humping. In the middle of a zombie apocalypse, it’s nice to have one love story at the center of it, although if this were a Kurt Sutter series, their reconciliation could only presage one thing: Glenn or Maggie will become a casualty (Robert Kirkman has already foretold that at least one major character will die before season’s end: My money is either on Glenn or, hopefully, Andrea).

The take home from last night’s episode is this: It wasn’t a particularly gripping or tense hour, and while it didn’t move the plot forward a lot, it did continue to set the stage for the Woodbury vs. Prison showdown. More importantly, it showed that if the Prison can cut the head off the snake, they may find that the rest of Woodbury is willing to join them, if only Woodbury will come to realize that they share a common enemy with the Prison gang: The Governor.

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