Louie (FX, 10:30 p.m.) — Louie sure does host an open mic night, and this synopsis sure is short. Does he do a good job? Does it lead to a gig hosting Last Comic Standing? Is there more fried chicken and copulation? I have so many questions.
The Big Bang Theory (CBS, 8:00 p.m.) — The guys bicker over what Raj will send to NASA as a prospective message to extra terrestrials. I vote for a hearty “Bazinga.” Also, Penny tries to decide whether she wants to give up on her pharmaceutical sales job in favor of being in a Kevin Smith movie. And co-hosting a podcast with him. And agreeing to only wear oversize hockey jerseys in public. Working with Kevin Smith is a hell of a commitment.
Grey’s Anatomy (ABC, 8:00 p.m.) — A plane crash pulls the doctors down a rabbit hole of bad memories, which is the second worst thing that can happen to a person when a plane crash is involved.
The Vampire Diaries (CW, 8:00 p.m.) — Stefan “loses his humanity,” which is, I suppose, code for “Angelus mode, ya’ll!”
The Odd Couple (CBS, 8:30 p.m.) — Rich Eisen and Kenny Smith guest star as Oscar tries to transition from radio to television.
Scandal (ABC, 9:00 p.m.) — Olivia is called in to #HandleIt after the mayor’s wife gets killed to death.
Mom (CBS, 9:00 p.m.) — The support group tries to help Bonnie climb back from her relapse, but Christy is absent.
Elementary (CBS, 10:00 p.m.) — Holmes and Watson try to solve the murder of a professional ghost debunker.
LATE NIGHT GUESTS: Jaimie Foxx and Betty White on Kimmel; Kevin James, Tom Dreesen, and Tracy Chapman on Letterman; Simon Cowell, Michael Douglas, and Jenny Lewis on Corden; and Rosario Dawson, Barney Frank, and Royal Blood on Conan.