What’s on Tonight: Avalanche!

The Truth Below (MTV) — A bottle episode of an original movie: four college kids on a ski trip are trapped in their car when it gets caught in an avalanche. Sounds an awful lot like a book I read when I was 10, Snow Bound by Harry Mazer (which later became an NBC after-school special).

So You Think You Can Dance (Fox) — Jessie J. performs on the results show. No word yet on whether this will be worse than her “Saturday Night Live” performance, or merely just as bad.

Children’s Hospital (Cartoon Network) — There’s a lot of crap on TV every night, but it’s especially bad tonight. “Children’s Hospital” may be the only 12 minutes of TV that are worth watching tonight.

Love Bites (NBC) — Laura Prepon guest stars, not that it matters.

On Board Marine One (Nat Geo) — Not a new special, but I noticed it in the listings because a ROTC classmate of mine used to be on of the pilots in VMX-1, the Marine unit that flies the president’s helicopters. Back in the ’90s, his sleep schedule was determined by a cycle of NyQuil and Mountain Dew, and he introduced me to the terms “pork sword” and “mashing guts.” And then he was entrusted with the president’s life.

Swords: Life on the Line (Discovery) — Basically, this is “Deadliest Catch” with swordfish off the coast of New England instead of crabs near Alaska. OW-AH FISHING IS MOAH DRAMATIC THAN YOAH FISHING!

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