The Bachelorette (ABC) — The guy that wins gets stuck with a short Canadian with a good personality. The guy that loses gets his pick of at least 25 girls on the next season of “The Bachelor.” Silver is the new gold. Watch a preview clip after the jump.
Making His Band (MTV) — Remember Diddy’s show about making crappy pop groups? Well, this one is for Diddy’s very own band, for what the artist is calling his final album. Oh yay! Ya promise?
Dance Your Ass Off (Oxygen) — Disclaimer: no asses will actually be danced off.
Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List (Bravo) — You know what would get HUGE ratings? “Kathy Griffin: Her Death in the Decompression Chamber.”
Weird, True, & Freaky (Animal Planet) — Just like this gigantic cyst. Don’t watch the video at that link. I’m telling you, don’t watch it. All right man, you do what you gotta do. But don’t say I didn’t warn you.
Charm School (VH1) — Season finale. Whatever that’s worth.
The T.O. Show (VH1) — After an unforgivably long 60-minute debut, this episode is half an hour. Still half an hour too long, of course.
Cake Boss (TLC) — There’s a tiki cake that spits fire in tonight’s new episode. So much better than boring old candles.