The Big Bang Theory (CBS, 8 p.m.) – Season nine kicks off with trouble in the romance department. Penny and Leonard are on the outs (note: macking on another woman is never good for your relationship), while Sheldon and Amy are on a break.
Gotham (Fox, 8 p.m.) – Season two of the superhero origin story begins with Gordon still reeling from a shakeup at the office and Penguin teaming up with an unlikely ally. Also, two new faces pop up in Arkham and since this has promised to be the “season of villains” (and these guys are hanging out in an insane asylum), expect bad things.
The Voice (NBC, 9 p.m.) – Adam Levine, Blake Sheldon, Gwen Stefani and Pharrell Williams reunite for another season of spinning chairs and big red buttons.
Minority Report (Fox, 9 p.m.) – The series premiere of the TV adaptation of that Tom Cruise film that coincidentally resembles another Fox show we know (cough Sleepy Hollow cough cough) sees Meagan Good befriending a precog who just wants to fit in (and stop having visions of gruesome murders). We’re sold.
Blindspot (NBC, 10 p.m.) – Girl wakes up naked in Times Square covered in strange tattoos with no memory. The result of a drunken Saturday night binger or something more dubious? Stay tuned.
Dancing With the Stars (ABC, 8 p.m.) – One celebrity is eliminated as the next round of competition features dance numbers commemorating the contestants’ home towns.
Life in Pieces (CBS, 9 p.m.) – The premiere of the show that’s kind of like Modern Family, kind of like Parenthood and probably not as good as either, sees the other Hanks and his family struggling with real-life issues like parenting, babies and finding true love.
Awkward (MTV, 9 p.m.) – Is Monday stacked with fun, refreshing new shows (and the return of some favorites)? Yes. Does that mean you should forget this gem of awkwardness that’s been holding us over all summer long? No. Tonight, Jenna’s senior superlative in the yearbook leaves much to be desired – and causes her to tumble into a downward spiral of depression. Ahh… high school, how I miss you.
Scorpion (CBS, 9 p.m.) – Season two starts with our favorite rag-tag team of geniuses preventing a Russian satellite from detonating over Southern California (nice try Putin) and Gene Simmons making a cameo. But none of that matters because Paige kissed Walter.
NCIS: Los Angeles (CBS, 10 p.m.) – Callen’s gone rogue and left his team in the dark about his sketchy, off-the-books mission in the season seven premiere.
Castle (ABC, 10 p.m.) – All Andy Samberg jokes aside, part one of the two-part eighth season opener will be watched (by me at least) because of one thing and one thing only: Nathan Fillion.
LATE NIGHT GUESTS: Bill O’Reilly, Kermit the Frog, Miss Piggy and Robin Thicke on Kimmel; Carly Fiorina, Ryan Reynolds and Shawn Mendes on Fallon; Steph Curry and Sen. Ted Cruz on Colbert; Wesley Snipes, Randall Park and Martha Stewart on Meyers; Allison Janney and Jesse Tyler Ferguson on Corden; and Fred Armisen on Conan.