Suits (USA Network, 10:01 p.m.) — Did you see last week’s episode? It was good. And guess what! Totally legit, respectable critics that didn’t come up with Shyamalanesque Mad Men theories are raving about Suits now, too. Smart people are finally talking about it!. Although, Salon.com wrote a review of Suits today dismissing it as the vivid manifestation of white privilege. Really? You’re going to get into the gender and race politics of a USA Network show? Ugh. The whole piece reminded me of why Patton Oswalt attacked them on Twitter last week.
20/20 The Royal Baby: Heir to the Throne (ABC, 10 p.m.) — They announced over the loudspeaker AT MY SIX-YEAR-OLD’S SUMMER CAMP when the Princess had given birth yesterday. WTF people? Really? If you don’t care about the Royal Baby, you may want to avoid Twitter for the next, say, 18 YEARS.
Rizzoli and Isles (TNT, 10 p.m.) — Tonight’s episode is called “Dance with the Devil,” which I’m 98 percent certain is a lesbian inside joke.
Drunk History (Comedy Central, 10 p.m.) — I love, love that this fact, the basis for one of the sketches in tonight’s episode is true: “Pharmacist John Pemberton invents a popular soft drink from wine and cocaine.” I love even more that the soft drink would become Coca Cola during prohibition because they had to stop using wine. BUT THE COCAINE WAS TOTALLY OK.
Catfish: The TV Show (MTV, 10 p.m.) — This is on! Watch it if you want to!
LATE NIGHT LISTINGS: It sucks to have to watch Leno, but the last time AARON PAUL was on, the world was introduced to THIS; meanwhile, Dave has Hugh Jackman; Larry King is on Ferguson; Fallon has Louis CK; and Conan has Aubrey Plaza.