Hawaii Five-0 (CBS) — Series premiere. It sounds interesting, but I don’t know what it’s about. CBS should really do a better job of advertising their new shows.
Mike & Molly (CBS) — Series premiere. Fatties meet and have sexual tension. I heard CBS was this close to adding a fart track. Also new on CBS tonight: season premieres for “How I Met Your Mother,” “Two and a Half Men,” and “Rules of Engagement,” which is somehow still on television.
Lone Star (Fox) — Series premiere. All I know about this is that a second-generation Texas con artist is trying to keep his dual lives intact. That’s not really my kind of hook, but the reviews are largely positive, so I’m gonna check it out. Preceded by: the Season 7 premiere of “House.” House and Cuddy are finally bangin’, y’all.
The Event (NBC) & Chase (NBC) — Series premieres. Looks like NBC found a couple of underwhelming action crossovers to go with “Chuck” (also having a season premiere tonight).
Dancing with the Stars (ABC) — Season premiere. I’ve got a crowded night of TV-watching, so I won’t be tuning into this two-hour time-suck, but I’ll probably catch a couple weeks of this season just to gaze at Audrina Patridge’s body and watch The Situation’s hijinks. Followed by: the season premiere of “Castle,” one of the few police procedurals I don’t mind-numbingly dull.
Monday Night Football (ESPN) — Saints and 49ers. As usual, there will be a live-blog at Kissing Suzy Kolber. I’ll be rooting for the Saints, but what I really need is for that sonofabitch Michael Crabtree to have a bad night.