William and Kate (Lifetime) — This is a Lifetime original movie starring Nico Evers-Swindell and Camilla Luddington about the nine-year courtship leading up to the royal wedding that you just may have heard about. If The King’s Speech taught me anything about movies about British royalty, it’s corgis or GTFO.
Dancing with the Stars (ABC) — To celebrate Patriot Day, the remaining eight contestants will dance to America-themed music. Mmmmmm, that’s good pandering. Miniature American flags for all!
Hawaii Five-0 (CBS) — Diddy guest stars as an undercover NYPD detective. I’m 100% certain that criminal investigations routinely require NYPD detectives to go to Hawaii.
NBA Playoffs (TNT) and NHL Playoffs (Versus) — Sports!
Cougar Town (ABC) — It’s back on an unusual night after a lengthy hiatus. If I remember correctly, it moves back to its Wednesday post-“Modern Family” slot next week. I could be wrong, but it’s not really worth double-checking.
LATE NIGHT GUESTS: It’s Conan O’Brien’s birthday, and his present is guest Emma Roberts. She’s cute, but kind of a letdown when you’re hoping the word after “Emma” is “Stone.” Elsewhere: repeats at 11:30; Courteney Cox on Kimmel; Tina Fey on Ferguson; and Rachel Maddow on Fallon.
