What’s On Tonight: ‘Smash,’ aka ‘Fancy Glee’

02.06.12 6 years ago 21 Comments

Smash (NBC) – Series premiere. As all six loyal NBC viewers can attest, the network has been pushing the mess out of this musical drama. I have made an executive decision that I will watch this show. I have also made an executive decision that Katharine McPhee is very, very pretty (see inset, part of this new GQ profile).

How I Met Your Mother/2 Broke Girls/Two and a Half Men/Mike & Molly (CBS) – The two worst shows in CBS’s Monday night lineup have the number two in them. “Number two” also means poop. I am very perceptive.

Alcatraz (FOX) – Did they ever catch that dinosaur in “Lost”? If I ever caught a dinosaur, I would name him Ozzie.

The Bachelor (ABC) – Apparently Whatshisnose has a date with one girl on a deserted island tonight. I bet he gets lucky. You know, because of “the implication.” Also because these girls seem pretty easy.

Pretty Little Liars/The Lying Game (ABC Family) – “ABC Family, the worldwide leader in dishonesty-based programming.”

Gossip Girl/Hart of Dixie (CW) – As far as I can tell, every male character on “Gossip Girl” is pretty much just Oliver from “The O.C.” And when I say “As far as I can tell,” what I mean is “Based almost entirely on snippets of conversations I’ve overheard while navigating Old Navy.”

Finding Bigfoot (Animal Planet) – SPOILER ALERT: No dice.

LATE NIGHT GUESTS: LL Cool J and Pitbull on Kimmel; Sarah Michelle Gellar on Letterman; Mark Harmon and Martha Plimpton on Ferguson; The Rock on Fartface McGee; Kristen Bell and Bret McKenzie (Flight of the Concords) on Conan

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