Life on a Wire (Discovery) — Series premiere. Seventh-generation high-wire performer Nik Wallenda of the famous “Flying Wallendas” (well, famous for circus performers) attempts new stunts for the 21st century. Ooohh, try to spend only five minutes on Tumblr, Nik!
The Challenge: Rivals (MTV) — Season premiere. Competitors from previous MTV reality shows try to win a slice of the $300,000 prize pool in the Costa Rican jungle. I’ll be cheering for yellow fever.
Franklin & Bash (TNT) — Harry Hamlin, famous for being on “L.A. Law,” guest stars on a show targeted to people too young to have watched “L.A. Law.” Still, I bet it was pretty awesome to nail Lisa Rinna before she got all that plastic surgery.
Kathy Griffin: Gurrl Down! (Bravo) — The redheaded plastic surgery aficionado (she shames Lisa Rinna) gets yet another stand-up special. And I would happily tolerate seven more “Real Housewives” spin-offs if it meant that channel never aired another second of Kathy Griffin footage.
I Didn’t Know I was Pregnant (TLC) — Season premiere. From the LA Times: “A woman calls an ambulance when she experiences abdominal cramps.” That makes her slightly more aware than most of the obese sluts on this show.