What’s On Tonight: March Madness Roars On And Sterling Kidnaps Lana’s Heart On ‘Archer’

Archer (FX, 10:00 p.m.) — Ever the romantic, Sterling tranquilizes Lana and whisks her away to Wales for a getaway and a mission to help a separatist who is voiced by Matthew Rhys, the star of The Americans, who according to the show notes, inspired this episode with “a rousing tale.”

March Madness (CBS/TNT/TBS/truTV, various) — College basketball action has been going on all day, but there are the primetime marquee match-ups for your viewing pleasure.

Villanova vs. Lafayette on TBS at 6:50 p.m., Cincinnati vs. Purdue at 7:10 p.m. on CBS, North Carolina vs. Harvard at 7:20 p.m. on TNT, Utah vs. Stephen F. Austin on truTV (seriously) at 7:27 p.m., NC State vs. LSU at 9:20 p.m. on TBS, Kentucky vs. Hampton on CBS at 9:40 p.m., Arkansas vs. Wofford at 9:50 p.m. on TNT, and Georgetown vs. Eastern Washington on Tru TV at 9:57 p.m.

Grey’s Anatomy (ABC, 8:00 p.m.) — Meredith talks about her biggest fears regarding Derek (Patrick Dempsey), that he’s working on the side as a pizza delivery boy who delivers pies with extra anchovies to desperate housewives.

The Vampire Diaries (CW, 8:00 p.m.) — Damon and Elena pop down to the 1903 prison world to save Damon’s mom.

Scandal (ABC, 9:00 p.m.) — Olivia needs to handle it when Lena Dunham stops by and threatens to spill some tawdry details in a tell-all book.

The Blacklist (NBC, 9:00 p.m.) — As Liz’s legal troubles mount, Red springs into action to track down her ex-husband Tom Keen in an effort to clear her name.

American Crime (ABC, 10:00 p.m.) — Regina King stops by to play Carter’s estranged sister and Barb works with Nancy to add to Carter’s charges.

The Slap (NBC, 10:00 p.m.) — Aisha almost cheats on her husband while away at a fancy Doctor party, but she abandons her adulterous plans when she is frozen by the horror of recalling that slap that happened like six weeks ago that the kid who got slapped already forgot about.

LATE NIGHT GUESTS: Bill Murray and the cast of The Walking Dead on Kimmel because it’s Christmas; Ben Stiller and Tim Gunn on Fallon; Jay Leno on Meyers; Will Ferrell on The Daily Show; Mindy Kaling and Brent Morin on Conan (which will be delayed because of college basketball).