04.06.09 9 years ago 10 Comments

You can’t spell “scheisse party” without “Sparty”

UNC versus Michigan State (CBS) — If the Spartans win, the auto industry will bounce back, and Michigan’s unemployment rate will magically sink below 10%.  That’s the magical healing power of sports!

House, M.D. (Fox) — Meat Loaf guest-stars as a dying man whose wife wife will do anything for love (but she won’t do that).

Chuck (NBC) — Scott Bakula returns as Chuck’s father, while Chevy Chase also guest-stars.  I’m not sure if anyone else whose best roles were multiple decades ago is scheduled to make an appearance.

The Princess Bride (Bravo) — My last Princess Bride reference?  About 80 minutes ago.  I could probably write the script from memory.  In a related story, I don’t have many friends.

Little People, Big World (TLC) — Gah, TLC’s programming creeps me out.  There is literally NOTHING on tonight I would rather not watch.

The Hills (MTV) — Okay, there is literally ONE THING on tonight I would rather not watch.  In the Season 5 opener, it’s like, Lauren’s birthday?  And Stephanie totally brings Heidi to the party!  OMG!  On her birthday! Couldn’t you just DIE!?!?

Who Really Killed Jesus? (National Geographic) — Spoiler alert: the Jews.

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