What’s On Tonight: Preseason Football, Sharkpocalypses, And Jennifer Aniston

Preseason Football: Cincinnati Bengals at Atlanta Falcons (ESPN, 8 p.m.) — I’m of the opinion that Matty Ice is the worst nickname in all of professional sports. Thoughts?

Sharkpocalypse/Alien Sharks (Discovery, 9 p.m./10 p.m.) — There are going to be a few more pissed off Facebook users tonight. Also, Sharkpocalypse? C’mon. Even Sharknihilation is better than that.

Wilfred (FX, 10 p.m.) — “Wilfred crashes Christmas and…” Don’t need any more. I’m sold.

Hollywood Game Night (NBC, 10 p.m.) — A mostly disappointing lineup tonight (Al Roker, Will Sasso, Niecy Nash, Jason Alexander, Jason Alexander’s hair, Nick Cannon, Josh Gad), but next week has Kristin Chenoweth and Aubrey Plaza, who will probably kill the ever-perky Kristin Chenoweth. That’s good TV.

Childrens Hospital (Adult Swim, 12 a.m.) — “If you don’t like Kate Upton, don’t watch tonight’s CHILDRENS HOSPITAL.” I doubt it’s true, but I’m including that cruel joke tweet anyway in the hopes that at least five extra people will watch the episode. That would double the show’s ratings.

NTSF: SD: SUV:: (Adult Swim, 12:15 a.m.) — Bob’s Burgers, Futurama, and now NTSF will have parodied E.T. in 2013. IT’S A TREND, PEOPLE.

LATE NIGHT GUESTS: Robin Williams and Mark Cuban on Leno; Keri Russell and Harrison Ford on Kimmel; James Marsden on Ferguson; Derek Jeter and Emma Roberts on Fallon; Jennifer Aniston and Paul Scheer on Conan; Kirsten Gillibrand on Stewart; and Colum McCann on Colbert.

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