Texas Women (CMT) — Series premiere. Essentially a “Real Housewives of Texas,” this is automatically better than Bravo’s franchise because (a) it’s not on Bravo, and (b) these women say “y’all.” Keep your eyes on Ali Dee (center right), a former SuperSonics (R.I.P.) dancer who now works for the Dallas Mavericks, lives on a ranch with a bull rider, and is an aspiring country singer. She’s very Texan (except that she’s from Miami).
Tattoo School (TLC) — Series premiere. Pretty much what the title suggests: a tattoo artist teaches other people how to be tattoo artists. And thank goodness for that. Seems like there are never enough tattoo parlors.
Louie (FX) — Louie suffers through a terrible gig at an Atlantic City casino, then has a talk with (surprisingly good) guest star Joan Rivers about the business of comedy. I’m looking forward to watching this one again.
True Life: I’m a Sugar Baby (MTV) — A sugar baby is the recipient of a sugar daddy’s care, which means that you can expect to learn way too much about shallow young women who whore themselves to wealthy men for presents. Looks like I compiled TV’s Most Punchable Faces one day too early.
Wilfred (FX) — Ed Helms guest stars in tonight’s episode, the first one that I haven’t already seen. And as super-awesome as it is was to watch a commercial-free screener before the general public, I have to say that I much prefer to experience TV at the same time as the general public. I’d rather be an armchair critic than a professional one.