G.I. Jane (Lifetime, 8:00 p.m.) – Since all of the regular TV shows are currently on a break, it looks like the networks have resorted to digging up obscure ‘90s cult films. The latest, G.I. Jane (picked by Lifetime, obviously) in which Demi Moore attempts to become the first woman to ever join the Navy Seals (think female Rambo). A lot of critics hated this one but personally I have no problem watching the former Mrs. Kutcher swear, smoke cigars and give herself a buzz cut while she gets the sh*t beaten out of her by a poetry-spieling Viggo Mortensen.
The Walking Dead Marathon (AMC, 8:00 p.m.) – It’s nice to know we can always count on AMC to shamelessly brag about having the most successful show on TV by marathoning it constantly. Not that I’m complaining. Sitting mindlessly in front of my TV watching Daryl Dixon make a cross-bow look cool again is probably the only thing worth doing in life.
Kennedy Center Honors (CBS, 9:00 p.m.) – Watch as rich and famous people congratulate themselves and give each other awards for being, well, rich and famous. Al Green, Tom Hanks, ballerina Patricia McBride, Sting and Lily Tomlin are being honored but Stephen Colbert is hosting so that should make this snooze fest more bearable.
Moonshiners (DSC, 9:00 p.m.) – After the police catch on to their moonshining operation, Josh and Bill move their stash to a more secure hiding place: a giant dirt hole. If you can stand to hear the line “It’s just money in the ground baby” uttered a few hundred times over the course of the episode you’ll be treated to some real moments of genius, like when they teach us civilized folk that vegetable oil and a hard hit from a hammer are all you need to jump start a motor.
The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (Bravo, 9:00 p.m.) – A party happens, another party happens, someone’s kid is going to college and a housewife tries out a new exercise.
Ground Floor (TBS, 10:00 p.m.) – When another office starts luring away some of Mansfield’s A-Team, Brody (who clearly has no problem being anyone’s second choice) finally gets his shot at moving up from the Ground Floor. Derrick and Jenny occupy themselves by butting into Harvard’s lack of a love life.
Benched (USA, 10:00 p.m. & 10:30 p.m.) – In the hour-long, two-episode season finale, Phil might be getting that Public Defender gig, and Nina reunites with Trent. Oh and a special guest star graces the show. (Spoiler: It’s Bert from Trophy Wife!!!)
The Real World: Skeletons (MTV, 10:00 p.m.) – It’s all fun and games until someone details their drug addicted downward spiral through “H-Town” on nation television. Following Madison’s big skeleton reveal last week, another member of the house is about to have their secrets exposed. After two episodes of this latest Real World installment I’m starting to feel like professional therapy, not an unlimited supply of alcohol and a probable chance of contracting gonorrhea is what these seven strangers really need.