Tosh.0 (Comedy Central) — Season premiere. Shouldn’t this be “Tosh 2.0” now? Anyway, the best TV show about the Internet returns with the first of 16 new episodes. Tonight: Tosh takes on LARPers with Jackie Chan (see preview below).
Half Pint Brawlers (Spike TV) — Series premiere. I previewed this earlier, but I like this quote from the LA Times: “If you’re at all squeamish about seeing someone get cash staple-gunned to his privates or 4-foot-tall wrestlers mauling each other while beer-drinking bar patrons egg them on, you might not be the target [audience].”
Toddlers and Tiaras (TLC) — Season premiere. Essentially, the parents on this show should be ground up into a slurry and fed terminally ill farm animals, while the little girls should be given to some organization that can better care for them and make them less likely to become strippers, such as the zoo, or a strip club. (Meet little Makenzie here.)
Are We There Yet? (TBS) — Series premiere. You know, if they were going to make one of Ice Cube’s movies into a sitcom, Friday would have been 100 times better.
Property Virgins (HGTV) — Maybe they should combine this with “Losing it with Jillian” — you’d get an overweight house-owning slut. Just like your mom!
Stan Lee Cup Finals (Vs) — Game 3 between the Chicago Blackhearts and the Philadelphia Flygirls.
Happy Town (ABC) — Is anyone watching this? I remember it premiering, then I promptly forgot about its existence. A show that sounds like a euphemism for having an orgasm should really be more interesting. “Oh yeah, I took her to Happy Town.”