I know we’ve been not-so-subtly complaining about the lack of TV news this week, but that’s only because we’re so close to the season premieres of “Justified,” “Archer,” and many of our other favorite TV shows — including “Mad Men,” some 500-plus days after “Tomorrowland.” And inevitable new favorites, too, like “Are You There, Chelsea?” and the exclamation point-less “Rob.” It’s tough to get excited about Ryan Murphy telling people to re-watch “American Horror Story” when you know Emmy Rossum doing body shots is right around the corner.
You can check out the full list of returning series after the jump, but for the crowd who only cares about when “Eastbound & Down” and other WG-approved shows are going to be back (I feel like this guy), here’s an abridged version, sorted by network:
ABC: “Happy Endings”/“Modern Family”/”Suburgatory” (Jan. 4)
NBC: “SNL” (Jan. 7), “30 Rock”/“Parks and Recreation”/“The Office”/”Up All Night” (Jan. 12)
CBS: “How I Met Your Mother” (Jan. 2)
FOX: “The Simpsons” (Jan. 8), “Fringe” (Jan. 13), “New Girl” (Jan. 17), “Bob’s Burgers” (Mar. 11)
FX: “Justified” (Jan. 17), “Archer” (Jan. 19)
AMC: “The Walking Dead” (Feb. 12), “Mad Men” (March)
HBO: “Eastbound and Down” (Feb. 19)
Showtime: “Californication”/”Shameless” (Jan. 8)
New shows worth checking out: FOX’s “Alcatraz” (Jan. 16), HBO’s “Angry Boys” (Jan. 1) and “Luck” (Jan. 29), Showtime’s “House of Lies” (Jan. 8) and “Inside Comedy” (Jan. 26), and FX’s “Unsupervised” (Jan. 19). And, of course, “Game of Thrones” (April), meaning: Pete Campbell vs. Joffrey Baratheon. Who you got?
JANUARY
Sunday, January 1
8:00 Mob Wives (VH1)
9:00 Mama Drama (VH1)
9:00 Rachael vs. Guy Celebrity Cook-Off (Food)
10:00 Angry Boys (HBO)
Monday, January 2
8:00 The Bachelor (ABC)
8:00 Antiques Roadshow (PBS)
8:00 Pretty Little Liars (ABC Family)
8:00 How I Met Your Mother (CBS)
8:30 2 Broke Girls (CBS)
9:00 The Lying Game (ABC Family)
9:00 Hoarders (A&E)
9:00 Two and a Half Men (CBS)
9:30 Mike & Molly (CBS)
10:00 It’s a Brad, Brad World (Bravo)
10:00 Hawaii Five-0 (CBS)
10:00 Intervention (A&E)
10:00 Wife Swap (ABC)
Tuesday, January 3
8:00 The Biggest Loser (NBC)
8:00 Switched at Birth (ABC Family)
8:00 NCIS (CBS)
8:30 Work It (ABC)
9:00 Jane by Design (ABC Family)
9:00 NCIS: Los Angeles (CBS)
10:00 Body of Proof (ABC)
10:00 Jamie’s American Road Trip (BBCA)
10:00 Parenthood (NBC)
10:00 Unforgettable (CBS)
Wednesday, January 4
8:00 The Middle (ABC)
8:30 Suburgatory (ABC)
9:00 Dog the Bounty Hunter (A&E)
9:00 Modern Family (ABC)
9:00 Nova (PBS)
9:30 Happy Endings (ABC)
10:00 Steven Seagal: Lawman (A&E)
10:00 Revenge (ABC)
Thursday, January 5
8:00 The Vampire Diaries (CW)
8:00 Wipeout (ABC)
9:00 The Secret Circle (CW)
9:00 Project Runway All Stars (Lifetime)
9:00 Grey’s Anatomy (ABC)
10:00 24 Hour Catwalk (Lifetime)
10:00 Jersey Shore (MTV)
10:00 Private Practice (ABC)
12:00 Delocated! (Adult Swim)
Friday, January 6
8:00 Nikita (CW)
8:00 A Gifted Man (CBS)
9:00 Supernatural (CW)
9:00 CSI: NY (CBS)
10:00 Merlin (Syfy)
10:00 Portlandia (IFC)
10:00 Blue Bloods (CBS)
Saturday, January 7
8:00 COPS (FOX)
11:30 Katy Brand’s Big Ass Show (BBCA)
Sunday, January 8
8:00 The Simpsons (FOX)
8:00 Once Upon a Time (ABC)
8:30 The Cleveland Show (FOX)
9:00 Family Guy (FOX)
9:00 The Firm (NBC)
9:00 Shameless (Showtime)
9:00 Desperate Housewives (ABC)
9:00 The Good Wife (CBS)
9:30 American Dad (FOX)
10:00 House of Lies (Showtime)
10:00 Cajun Pawn Stars (History)
10:00 CSI: Miami (CBS)
10:00 Pan Am (ABC)
10:30 Californication (Showtime)
Monday, January 9
9:00 First Week In (Discovery)
10:00 Castle (ABC)
10:00 Caged (MTV)
Tuesday, January 10
10:00 The Game (BET)
10:30 Let’s Stay Together (BET)
Wednesday, January 11
8:00 One Tree Hill (CW)
8:00 Whitney (NBC)
8:30 Are You There, Chelsea? (NBC)
9:00 People’s Choice Awards (CBS)
9:00 Ghost Hunters (Syfy)
10:00 Face Off (Syfy)
10:00 Law & Order: SVU (NBC)
Thursday, January 12
8:00 30 Rock (NBC)
8:00 The Big Bang Theory (CBS)
8:30 Rob (CBS)
8:30 Parks & Recreation (NBC)
9:00 The Finder (FOX)
9:00 The Office (NBC)
9:00 Person of Interest (CBS)
9:30 Up All Night (NBC)
10:00 The Mentalist (CBS)
Friday, January 13
8:00 Kitchen Nightmares (FOX)
9:00 Fringe (FOX)
9:00 Grimm (NBC)
10:00 Real Time with Bill Maher (HBO)
Saturday, January 14
9:00 Miss America Pageant (ABC)
Sunday, January 15
8:00 Golden Globe Awards (NBC)
8:00 Undercover Boss (CBS)
8:30 Napoleon Dynamite (FOX)
9:00 Leverage (TNT)
Monday, January 16
8:00 Gossip Girl (CW)
8:00 Alcatraz (FOX)
9:00 Being Human (Syfy)
9:30 Betty White’s Off Their Rockers (NBC)
10:00 Lost Girl (Syfy)
Tuesday, January 17
8:00 Glee (FOX)
8:00 90210 (CW)
9:00 Remodeled (CW)
9:00 New Girl (FOX)
9:30 Raising Hope (FOX)
10:00 Southland (TNT)
10:00 Justified (FX)
10:00 White Collar (USA)
Wednesday, January 18
8:00 American Idol (FOX)
9:00 Criminal Minds (CBS)
9:00 Remodeled (CW)
9:00 Mistresses (BBCA)
10:00 CSI (CBS)
10:00 Royal Pains (USA)
Thursday, January 19
10:00 Archer (FX)
10:30 Unsupervised (FX)
Friday, January 20
8:00 Shark Tank (ABC)
9:00 Primetime (ABC)
9:30 On Freddie Roach (HBO)
Sunday, January 22
8:00 American Idol (FOX)
Monday, January 23
8:00 House (FOX)
9:00 Hart of Dixie (CW)
Wednesday, January 25
9:00 Touch (FOX)
Thursday, January 26
10:00 Fat Chef (Food)
11:00 Inside Comedy (Showtime)
Friday, January 27
10:00 Spartacus: Vengeance (Starz)
Tuesday, January 31
9:00 Ringer (CW)
10:00 Tosh.0 (Comedy)
10:30 Key & Peele (Comedy)
FEBRUARY
Thursday, February 2
11:00 I Just Want My Pants Back (MTV)
Friday, February 3
8:00 Who Do You Think You Are? (NBC)
Sunday, February 5
10:00 The Voice (NBC)
12:00 Mary Shelley’s Frankenhole (Adult Swim)
Monday, February 6
10:00 Smash (NBC)
Tuesday, February 7
9:00 The Real Housewives of Orange County (Bravo)
9:00 The River (ABC)
Sunday, February 12
9:00 The Apprentice (NBC)
9:00 The Walking Dead (AMC)
10:00 Secret Stash (AMC)
Sunday, February 19
12:00 Tight Bros (Adult Swim)
Wednesday, February 22
9:00 Ghost Hunters International (Syfy)
Sunday, February 26
8:30 Academy Awards (ABC)
MARCH
Tuesday, March 6
8:30 Breaking In (FOX)
9:00 Fashion Star (NBC)
Wednesday, March 7
10:00 Monster Man (Syfy)
Sunday, March 11
8:30 Bob’s Burgers (FOX)
Wednesday. March 14
10:00 South Park (Comedy)
Thursday, March 15
12:00 Eagleheart (Adult Swim)
Saturday, March 31
11:30 Peep Show (BBCA)