The ‘Young Pope’ Popedown, Episode 4: Operation Seduce The Pope

01.24.17 7 Comments

The Young Pope Popedown is a list of the five craziest and/or most notable things that happened in each episode of HBO’s The Young Pope, ranked from least to most crazy and/or notable. Like a countdown, but with popes.

5. The Pope needs to chill out

A visit from the prime minister of Greenland and her openly gay assistant gave Lenny a good idea: Root out all the gays and kick them out of the Vatican. Wait, no. That’s not a good idea. That’s a bad idea, both because it is extremely unchill and because of all the stuff Voiello said about it destabilizing the church. Focus on the Kurkwell thing, my guy. Fix the child abuse problem. Maybe try to quit smoking. There’s gotta be a better use of your time than this.

The only upside to his “banish the gays” plan, and it is a slim one, is that it has apparently resulted in a dramatic uptick in priests spelling out salacious heterosexual fantasies in confession to avoid suspicion. I honestly cannot believe this show opted to tell us this instead of showing it on the screen. It might be the most subtle decision we’ve seen all season. I’m kind of mad about it. Give me a montage of priests confessing about, like, staring longingly at Rachel during a rerun of Friends. Maybe next week.

Other notes on Vatican business:

– The Pope did some baptisms and hated it so much, to the degree that, in mindlessly going through the motions, he told a white mother that her adopted black infant took after her. This is pretty clearly incorrect, but if the Pope is truly infallible, then… is it? Something for the mother to consider every single moment for the rest of her life.

– I… I think the Prime Minister of Greenland has the hots for the Pope.

– The delegation from Greenland brought him gifts, including a very large halibut for him to eat. This was thoughtful, but it’s fun to think about them finding out later that Australia just sent him a real live kangaroo. Like I’m imagining the prime minister back in Greenland kicking herself like “A halibut? God. You idiot! He didn’t want a fish! He’s the Pope!”

4. The Disobedient Kangaroo

This week in Papal Kangaroos, Lenny again runs into his gift from Australia while out for another soul-searching night walk (big fan of the casual papal hoodie, by the way). This is what happens.

The point here, I think, is that Lenny is testing out his mastery over the world around him. He can make people jump with a nasty look, and he did that thing two episodes ago where he drew the kangaroo out of its cage with a calm and steady hand, like he’s a kangaroo whisperer or something, so he could have been feeling things out on two levels. I choose to believe the kangaroo heard him and understood his command but chose not to jump because it thinks Lenny is an asshole.

Also, just for fun, picture Pope Francis wandering through his garden at night in a hoodie and commanding a kangaroo to jump. It’s almost even better, right?

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