Yup: Real Housewives of the Bible

07.13.11 7 years ago 15 Comments

As if we needed further proof that devout Christians are terrible at making quality entertainment, here’s “The Real Housewives of the Bible,” a DVD that you can purchase online if you find Tyler Perry movies too racy. Created by religious sexpert Ty Adams, the series retells Bible stories to help modern women with their lives and marriages.

“If you want to find out about love, you go to the original manufacturer, you go to the blueprint. God himself is love and he understands relationships more than any of us and he understands how love operates more than any of us because he is love,” Adams added. “God is not as far away from your experiences and will understand. I think it’s an excellent opportunity for people to see how the Bible actually relates to everyday life.” [Fox News via Gawker TV]

My favorite Biblical wives are Lot’s wife (who got turned into a pillar of salt for looking over her shoulder) and Job’s wife, who God killed to test Job and then later replaced with a new wife. The everyday lessons for modern women: (1) obey or be turned into a condiment, and (2) your husband will be just as happy with a new wife. The Bible rules.

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