10 Songs That Guarantee You Won’t Get Laid Tonight If You Play Them For Your Valentine

Senior Pop Culture Editor
02.14.14 7 Comments

You’ve got the flowers. You’ve got the chocolate strawberries. You’ve go the fancy dinner reservation. You’ve got the guy/girl. But what about the music? A successful playlist is of the utmost importance if you plan on getting romantic with your special someone tonight…and none of the following songs should be on it.

But there are millions of sh*tty songs, you might be screaming at your computer right now, why these ten in particular? Well: using Metacritic, I found the 10 “worst” albums of all-time, and picked the ubiquitous love song from each of them. If you play any K-Fed this evening, you don’t deserve to be loved, ever.

“Crazy” by Kevin Federline ft. Britney Spears

Romance-killing line:

Never been a surfer but my chain hang loose
Got so much flavor like 2Pac juice

“I’m the Least You Could Do” by Bloodhound Gang

Romance-killing line:

When my fumbling breaks you should
I thank your dad for the damaged goods?

“Hold Your Gaze” by the Pigeon Detectives

Romance-killing line:

You know it’s true and no surprise
The birds are pecking at my eyes,
You know it’s true, you know it’s true.

“Measure of a Man” by Young Rebel Set

Romance-killing line:

Tell me what’s the measure of a man
Can you find it in the distance that he ran?

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