Everybody Panic Now Lesbians Have Invaded The Disney Channel

News & Culture Writer
01.29.14 20 Comments

good luck charlie two moms

This totally flew under my radar since it involves A) children’s programming on B) the Disney Channel, but earlier this week the network made history by featuring its first ever same sex couple on a Disney Channel series. The titular Charlie on Good Luck Charlie meets a new friend named Taylor in preschool, however there is some confusion over the fact that Taylor has not one, but two mommies. The clip is after the jump, but I’m sure you can only imagine the egg on everyone’s faces — although everyone had a good laugh in the end!

That is, aside from those party pooping boners over at One Million Moms, who ham-fistedly clutched all of the pearls they could find and tried to have the episode banned forever because THINK OF THE CHILDREN. Via Lez Get Real:

An upcoming episode in this last season of “Good Luck Charlie” will feature a family with two moms, a first for Disney Channel. Because “Good Luck Charlie” is coming to a close, the characters are only expected to appear in one episode. However, one episode is enough, especially since the network repeatedly airs reruns of all its programs.

Conservative families need to urge Disney to avoid controversial topics that children are far too young to comprehend. This is the last place a parent would expect their children to be confronted with topics that are too difficult for them to understand. Mature issues of this nature are being introduced too early and too soon, and it is extremely unnecessary.

If there’s anything children would have a difficult time understanding, it’s why Hannah Montana now looks like the Elf from Rudolph and is getting handsy with Madonna when she’s not having over the pants intercourse with Beetlejuice. But we have the Disney Channel to thank for that, now don’t we? If everything I know about lesbians is true, the worst thing that’s going to happen to your kid from direct exposure is maybe developing a fondness for tea and cats.

Also, did I miss the memo that television lesbians couples are now required to be portrayed by hipster glasses-wearing blondes?

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