Someone’s Going To Eat It When ‘True Blood’ Comes Back, So Commence Speculation!

News & Culture Writer
06.06.14 11 Comments


The final season of True Blood is nearly upon us, and you know what final seasons mean! Body counts thought the roof! And of course with campy horror like True Blood, it’s pretty much implied that at least a few characters are going to spectacularly eat sh*t. TV Guide confirmed as much, revealing that a major character will die right out of the gate:

When the HBO drama returns, the Hep-V-infected vampires that were poised to attack Bon Temps arrive and the bloodbath quickly ensues. Unfortunately, the casualties are not just redshirts. In fact, one character’s fate is so jaw-dropping that you’ll spend the rest of the episode wondering if what you just watched was a dream. It’s not, which clearly means all bets are off in this final season.

FYI, Wikipedia’s definition of “redshirt”:

A “redshirt” is a stock character in fiction who dies soon after being introduced. The term originates with fans of the Star Trek television series (1966–69), from the red shirts worn by Starfleet security personnel who frequently die during episodes.

And with that, let the rampant speculation begin! Here’s the main cast still standing, and my prediction of whether or not they’ll die on a scale of 10 — 10 being the most likely to die. I don’t know if Arlene counts as a main character but not including her on grounds that I don’t give a crap.

Sookie – Sookie has to die. She’s the one who started this whole vampire mess, so it would only be poetic if she bit the dust. It’s doubtful that it would happen before the series finale, but I’m feeling fairly confident on this one. (10/10)

Bill – Bill should die, but Bill’s probably not going to die. If Bill dies, who’s going to be all Emo Eeyore for the next several centuries? (1/10)

Eric – Eric might already be dead at this point (totally not dead) but if he’s alive, his death would certainly be one of the hardest blows for super serious True Blood fans. But then why would they bring him back from supposedly being dead just to rekill him all over again? “Haha, I wasn’t dead then but now I am! Fooled you, bro!” (3/10)

Jessica – Fan favorite that’s not super integral to the storyline but people would still be really traumatized to see her go? Jessica’s practically a walking target. Plus it would give Bill another thing to mope about. (9/10)

Pam – If Eric doesn’t die, I could see them killing Pam because it would make Eric really sad. Then he and Bill can be sad vampires for all of eternity together. (6/10)

Sam – Because the universe hates me, Sam probably has a fairly decent chance of making it out alive. (3/10)

Jason – Please don’t kill Jason. Please don’t kill Jason. Please don’t kill Jason. (They might kill Jason) (5/10)

Tara – Tara was the worst for four seasons and then they made her a vampire and now she’s alright. At this point I would be somewhat upset to see Tara go, so there’s probably a halfway decent chance of it happening. (5/10)

Andy – Andy’s a beloved, but overall pretty dispensable character. I don’t think Andy’s gonna make it. (8/10)

Alcide – Joe Manganiello looks nice without a shirt on but other than that, I’m not terribly concerned about Alcide’s well being one way or another. (4/10)

Lafayete – If Lafayete dies we riot. (1/10)

So there you have it! Just over two weeks until its back and we all find out how wrong I probably am. In the meantime, I’ll leave you with my favorite Pam gif ever.



(TV Guide via Jezebel)

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