‘South Park’s’ Terrifying Prophecy Of Old People Driving Just Came True

04.03.14 4 years ago 15 Comments


Comedy Central

I don’t know what’s in the water in Winter Haven, Florida — just yesterday I wrote about a senior citizen who lost his sh*t in a McDonald’s drive thru, and then today out of Winter Haven comes the news that an 84-year-old woman drove her vehicle into a CVS, narrowly avoiding plowing down a customer inside. Margaret Underwood’s 2008 Chevy Impala went careening through the front of the store and drove a significant distance into the store before finally coming to a rest. South Park was right. We’re all doomed.

Underwood apparently backed into a Chevy Suburban just moments before that in the parking lot. Police say she dropped her husband off at CVS and waited for him in the car.

When he returned, she accidentally backed into the Chevy. While her husband was checking on the SUV, she apparently put the car in drive and hit the accelerator.

A CVS employee who helped the shopper grazed by the vehicle said the engine was still revving at a high RPM and the wheels were spinning after it crashed inside the store.

How is it that we have the technology for droves to deliver packages but we still don’t have a way to safely transport the elderly around, and I don’t mean those annoying short buses that stop like right in the middle of the road and block traffic because those are THE WORST. I don’t know, I’m thinking something with tubes might work. Just throwing that out there.

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