This Spurned Husband Is Selling His Cheating Wife’s Wedding Dress With A Scathing Classified Ad

06.11.14 4 years ago 7 Comments

When an anonymous, 32-year-old Sydney man’s wife left him for a close friend after only two years of marriage, he stored some of his stuff in cardboard boxes in a friend’s (not the cheating one) garage after the fallout. A year later, the guy was going through the boxes and came across the wedding dress of his friend’s cheating wife, and suggested that he sell it to recoup some of the losses. Because that’s what friends are for: Selling a dress is MUCH more economical than burning it.

So the jilted groom agreed, and with his blessing, his friend put together an ad on Gumtree, which is basically the UK and AU equivalent of Craigslist:

Due to be married soon? Not planning on staying faithful? Want to sleep with one of your soon-to-be husband’s closest friends? Then THIS is the wedding dress for you!

This stunning, tuille swathed, ivory bridal gown has a proven track record of producing an adulterous, deceitful, double-crossing and traitorous “soulmate”.

A one of a kind garment designed by Benedict Arnold, believed to be derived from the very cloth Judas Iscariot himself wore to the Garden of Gethsemane to betray the only son of God – Jesus Christ.

This harlot-sized ensemble will make you the envy of your trampish posse on your fraudulent wedding day.

As an added bonus, this dress gives you the “entitlement” to legally obtain over half of your husband-to-be’s worldly possessions.

This dress is guaranteed to provide you with approximately two years of reasonable wedded mediocrity before the complete and utter disintegration of your relationship due to your extramarital promiscuity.

Cosmetically, the garment is in better condition than the marriage – not looking for much. Make an offer.

What exactly constitutes as “harlot-sized,” anyway? Is that like an 8-10? Either way, it’s a little tacky for my tastes. The dress, I mean, not the ad. As far as the ad goes, there should be a special strain of herpes reserved for people who sleep with their spouse’s best friends and friend’s spouses.

(Via Daily Mail)

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