Washington Man High On LSD Breaks Into A Home Claiming to Be Jack Bauer From ’24’

02.19.14 4 years ago 5 Comments

Have you ever been so messed up that the last thing you remember is one location, and then you wake up in a different location like you teleported? Sure. But have you ever been so strung out on LSD that you break into someone’s home and claim to be Jack Bauer from 24? Via Kiro TV:

A North Seattle couple found a mess in their apartment and police say their suspect believed he was Jack Bauer from the television show “24” when he broke in.

David Stolte, 30, was arrested and charged with residential burglary.

Maybe he was trying to break-in for further information on a case he was working on. Maybe this home was the home of terrorists or a terror cell planning to cause mayhem in America?!

Doerschel told KIRO 7 he found screens off their windows, kitty litter in the sink, food strewn all over the kitchen, a frozen pie in the oven, and a frozen crab in the closet.

“The crab from the freezer was just sitting right here on the blanket on the bike,” he said.

Clothes were in the bathtub. Doerschel’s credit cards had been removed from his wallet and were stuffed in a chocolate muffin.

Or maybe he is just some guy that is just really high. At some point the LSD told Doerschel that he should probably put his credit cards in a chocolate muffin. When your line of reasoning hits that level, everything else is fair game.

Court documents obtained by KIRO 7 state that Stolte has no known criminal convictions but that police contacted him several times over the past few years for running around naked, climbing on roofs at Seattle Center naked, and even smashing a bus window in Oregon and lying in the middle of the road attempting to get run over.

Well, this guy obviously has a history of impersonating characters out of my nightmares. Maybe this is an elaborate stunt to promote the new mini-series of 24? Jack Bauer has gone nuts after all he’s went through and he’s now a naked hobo on LSD that runs through the streets and damages pie and crab. I’d watch that. Hell, looking at the history, maybe it was Jack Bauer.

Via Kiro TV, Gawker

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