Five Frat Bros Broke Into Sea World Of Texas To Take Selfies With Dolphins

When frat guys aren’t buttchugging, or hazing people to death, they apparently like to break into Sea World to take selfies with Dolphins. Apparently these dummies didn’t watch Blackfish. Via WOAI:

Police scrambled today to stop several people who were apparently trying to break into Sea World of Texas on the city’s northwest side, 1200 WOAI news reports.

Police arrived that the theme park about 2AM and say five people were attempting to get into the park. One of them was arrested, the other four scattered.

Detectives say the five are from a fraternity from a Houston area college. They spent their time in the park eating ‘dipping dots’ ice cream and taking ‘selfies’ with the animals. There are no reports of any vandalism or theft, other than the dipping dots.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold up a second. This is a travesty. You can still buy dippin dots ice cream? Man, so many wasted nights of eating regular ice cream out of the carton and yelling at myself in the mirror. Did these imbeciles hurt any of the animals, or did they maybe have an ulterior motive for breaking in?

Sea World has dealt with fans who want to break into parks to ‘play with the animals,’ and also with self appointed ‘animal rights investigative reporters’ who want to document what they see as mis-treatment of animals, but police say this morning’s incident was nothing more than a Spring Break fling.

Nope, just idiots. That paragraph included ‘play with the animals’ and ‘Spring Break fling.’ Now, I’m not insinuating anything, but a lot of alcohol can make anything look enticing. Frat hazing? Human/Dolphin hybrids? We’ll never know.