So, there’s going to be a new Jurassic Park movie in 2014. Hooray! In the past the Jurassic Park movies have made a decent effort to reflect what’s going on at the time in the world of paleontology. The first movie had its characters constantly going on about how dinosaurs evolved into birds, might have been warm-blooded and did move in herds. Jurassic Park III included the recently discovered Spinosaurus as its main dino-villain.
Well, paleontology didn’t go on hiatus just because the Jurassic Park series did. In the decade-plus since the last Jurassic Park movie there have been all sorts of frightening, amazing and downright wacky dinos discovered. Here are seven newly discovered dinos Spielberg and company really ought to be considering for JP4…
What’s scarier than a raptor? How about a raptor that’s 26-feet long and weighs over two tons? For the record that’s over 35-times more massive than the Velociraptors from earlier Jurassic Park movies. Plus it’s got a parrot/turkey head that’s just f–king crazy looking.
Gigantic raptors are scary, but what about swarms of tiny little raptors? Tiny little feathery raptors? That would be plenty scary in its own right.
So this guy looks fairly terrifying, but then most dinosaurs look fairly terrifying. What sets Sinornithosaurus apart? Well, it’s the only species of dino known to be poisonous. Apparently these little punks had a habit swooping down out of trees and biting their prey in the back of the neck. Nice.
Of course Jurassic Park fans will recall the series has already had a venomous dinosaur — those ruffled necked guys that killed Newman in the first movie. Well, turns out the makers of Jurassic Park straight up fabricated that s–t. There’s no evidence that the dino that killed Newman, Dilophosaurus, spat poison or had neck ruffles.
I can see why they did it. A poisonous dinosaur is an awesome idea, and hey, guess what, now there’s a dino we actually know was poisonous, so no more fudging stuff for Jurassic Park 4 guys.
That’s right, there’s now a dinosaur that’s a cross between a T-Rex and a raptor. I’m fairly certain a team of marketers and toy designers must have travelled back in time and planted the fossils for this thing, because it’s just too perfect.
So yeah, basically Raptorex is the size of a large raptor, but has all the features and characteristics of a T-Rex. There’s a pretty good chance the discovery of this dino was the entire reason they decided to make a new Jurassic Park in the first place.
Yeah, the Jurassic Park movies mostly focus on the carnivores, but you have to feature a few token herbivores as well, and who better than Sauroposeidon, the new holder of the title “biggest dinosaur of all time”?
This fella is tops in all categories — a Sauroposeidon could grow up 56-feet high, 112-feet long and weigh up to 66 tons. By comparison the better-known Brachiosaurus was only around 30-feet high, 85-feet long and 30 tons.
Also, Sauroposeidon’s name means “earthquake god lizard”. I don’t care if the vegetarian dinos aren’t as cool as the meat-eaters — that is one badass name.
Most pterosaurs are kind of lame. Sorry pterosaur fans, it’s true. Their awkward little legs, flappy wings and big goofy beaks don’t make for the most frightening of creatures. The fact that Jurassic Park III tried to use them as threats was one of that movie’s major failings.
Well guess what? Recently palaeontologists have found a species of pterosaur that’s legitimately scary. The Jeholopterus trades in the usual goofy beak for a creepy looking, almost feline face full of sharp little teeth. Oh, and just to up the creep factor, there’s speculation these guys fed on blood like little pre-historic vampires.
This dinosaur is proof of the old adage “kids are dumb and shouldn’t be allowed to decide anything”. See, the full name of this dino is Dracorex hogwartsia, aka “Dragon King of Hogwarts”. Really, the Children’s Museum of Indianapolis should have known full well what they were in for back in 2006 when they decided to let the public name their new dinosaur.
Could have been worse — had this happened just a few years later the poor dino would probably be stuck with Edwardjacobex Hungergameicus as its name.
Anyways, name aside, this is a pretty rad looking dino. It really does look like a real-life dragon. Also, come on, this is the closest the producers of Jurassic Park are ever going to get to a crossover with Harry Potter. Just give a Dracorex a scarf and an invisibility cloak and you’re set.