This 86-Year-Old Woman Fought Off Her Attacker With Nothing But Bacon

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Yesterday, an 86-year-old woman in Altrincham, England was robbed while withdrawing a large sum of money from an ATM outside a grocery store. To the robber’s surprise, their intended victim wasn’t as feeble and vulnerable as she may have appeared and actually managed to defend herself. But the octogenarian didn’t fight the attacker off with her fists. No, she was saved thanks to one of the items in her grocery cart: BACON!

As the 86-year-old woman withdrew money from the ATM, another woman watched from inside the grocery store. Once the 86-year-old entered the store, the attacker cornered her, grabbing her shopping cart, and demanding she hand over the money. But the obviously badass granny refused to relinquish the cash and instead reached into her cart, grabbed a package of bacon, and whacked her assailant over the head repeatedly. After so much abuse, the attacker fled.

Police responded to the attack by praising the 86-year-old on Facebook and even commissioned the NSFW hashtag “#BeatOffWithBacon to spread word of her heroism.

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A few Facebook users shared clever responses to the news:

And the slightly less punny, but still witty:

We get it, and we also agree. It’s time to replace guns with bacon, and replace jobs with bacon eating and turn everyone into Kevin Bacon!

(Via First We Feast)