The next time that you tell someone that your flight to Anytown, USA was absolutely awful, remind yourself that no flight will ever be as shitty as this one. Over the weekend, a British Airways flight destined for Dubai took a little longer than planned, because the pilot had to turn the plane around and head back to Heathrow Airport due to what one passenger adorably referred to as “a smelly poo in the toilet.” Alas, “smelly poo” is an understatement, because this flight sounded like an absolute nightmare.
A town councilor named Abhishek Sachdev was the man who Tweeted about the “smelly poo” in the first place, and he told the Daily Mail that it was far worse than that. In fact, he eventually admitted that “smelly poo” was simply the way he described it to his daughter. One of these days, kids will have to learn what a disgusting, honking load of death feces is.
‘The pilot made an announcement requesting senior cabin crew, and we knew something was a bit odd.
‘About 10 minutes later he said you may have noticed there’s a quite pungent smell coming from one of the toilets.
‘He said it was liquid faecal excrement, those are the words he used. He said it’s not a technical fault with the plane, and he was very adamant about that.’
The general assumption is that the pilot meant that someone decided to store too much dookage beneath his windowless seat. We’ll probably never know the real story behind this disgusting event, but there’s a good chance that someone somewhere is telling his friends about the time he dropped a deuce so smelly that it caused his plane to turn around. And I’m guessing that his story ends with, “… but I’m not going to let that stop me from eating two burritos before I fly.”