An Oscar Winner Will Direct The Gritty Retelling Of 'The Little Mermaid'

Most of us know The Little Mermaid from the Disney movie of the same name, but if you’ve read the original fairy tale, you know it’s actually really depressing. You know, perfect to be retold by, of all people, Sofia Coppola.

This actually goes back quite a while, but Coppola’s takeover is something new. And apparently it’s throwing the movie into high gear, according to Deadline:

The intention is to move quickly. This is a departure for Coppola in that her projects are usually focused on adult themes. She’s got kids and it wouldn’t be shocking if she wanted to please them with a movie they can see and understand.

Just as a friendly reminder, the original story of The Little Mermaid is that she cuts a deal to get legs, but every step will feel like stepping on sharp knives. Also her feet will bleed. Also it costs her her voice. Oh, and the story ends with the prince, enjoying her dancing, dumping her anyway, marrying another woman, and leaving our heroine to die on the beach. But it’s OK, because she kind of gets a soul anyway!

In other words, it’s every bit as screwed up as anything else Hans Christian Anderson wrote, because that guy was a mess. Being a bisexual who falls in love with unattainable women and men will do that to you in the Victorian era.-

We’re looking forward to watching far too many grown people cry about how this movie hurts their feelings. But if the French can try redoing Beauty And The Beast, we guess a movie studio can try telling another version of this one.