A South Carolina Woman Beat Up A 64-Year-Old Man For Farting In Her Face

The details of this story are a little sketch so bear with me, here. A 33-year-old South Carolina woman, Jessica Cerney — the lovely woman in the mugshot above — and a 64-year-old man, Darrell McKnight, reportedly share a home together in Myrtle Beach. (The police report obtained by The Smoking Gun claims that he sleeps on the porch.)

Earlier this week McKnight came stumbling into the home drunk, as one who sleeps on a porch is wont to do, and farted directly into the face of Cerney, who at the time was lying on the couch.

Naturally, fisticuffs ensued.

Cerney told police that she left the home to get away from McKnight, but said that he followed her outside. As the two argued over the incident, Cerney said, the cursing McKnight approached her in a “threatening manner.”

Cerney said that when McKnight bent down, she “struck him in the face approximately three times with a closed fist.” The blows left McKnight with a swollen right eye, for which he subsequently received treatment at a local hospital. Cerney, who was not drunk, did not suffer any injuries during the confrontation.

Both parties were issues citations for fighting, although I firmly believe that getting a fart in your face is totally a justifiable reason to use punching force. Fellas: Don’t fart in a lady’s face. She might hit you, and you will deserve it.