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A Tennessee Swingers Club Is Attempting To Get Recognized As A Church To Get Around Zoning Laws

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When the community of Madison in Nashville, Tenn. found out that the new owners of an old medical building next door to the Goodpasture Christian School planned to turn the property into a swingers club, they put a stop to it by rezoning the property to prohibit clubs. The owners of what was formerly known as The Social Club is loophole’ing the community right back, however, and are now working on having the property renovated into a church called The United Fellowship Center. A sexy church.

According to WKRN-2, the plans apparently aren’t all that much different from when the property was zoned as a swingers club, only now the dungeon is a choir room, the game room will be a “fellowship hall” and the dance floor is now a sanctuary.

WKRN-2 spoke with Councilwoman Karen Bennett about the plans, who says she doesn’t think the organization is on the up and up as a church (really?), but it doesn’t seem like there’s much they can do until proven otherwise.

Bennett received an advance flyer for the church, which says it will be honoring all yearly subscribers and members of The Social Club. The flyer for the United Fellowship Center said men are charged $50 and women $20.

According to Bennett, the owner of the building has become an ordained minister, a process online that takes less than a minute and requires nothing more than a name and password.

“Churches have a lot of rights, but it is also federally regulated,” she said. “They certainly have their right to become a church; they just need to make sure they follow guidelines.

Hey, whatever gets you closer to your higher power, am I right? For some people, that’s sitting in pews, singing hymns and engaging in deep spiritual reflection. For others, it’s blindfolded, three-way penetration in a baby pool filled with tapioca pudding. You can’t dictate what does and doesn’t constitute as an individual’s religious beliefs.

I believe a little thing called the Constitution says that.

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