A Virgin America Flight Was Diverted Because A Man Was Going To Town on Himself, Masturbating

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09.24.14 20 Comments
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Last week we told you about a Facebook page devoted to shaming airline passengers. In short, the page features people doing obscene things like going topless, pulling down their pants and God you don’t even want to know what happens in the bathroom.

But none of that compares to this story from Monday. A Virgin America flight from Boston to Los Angeles was diverted to Omaha because a man was masturbating — furiously, I might add. And then to make matters worse, the fapping man tried to open an exit door, presumably with his hand.

“He at that point was fidgeting and began to remove the plastic covering from the emergency exit door and tried to pull to open the door,” Slater said. “Fortunately there were a couple of Boston police officers on the flight that were there at that point to help as well.”

The FAA is calling the disturbance a medical emergency. Damn, is that we’re calling it now? If so, I had six medical emergencies on Saturday night while watching Cinemax After Dark. You know what, that looks a lot worse in print as opposed to when I tell my psychiatrist.

Me, right now.

[Mashable]

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