Agent Coulson Takes Center Stage In New ‘Agents Of SHIELD’ Promos

Marvel’s been doling out the information in little photographic dollops about Agents of SHIELD, and it’s finally gotten to what for many nerds will be the main event: Agent Coulson. So, what will Clark Gregg actually tell us in a minute-long promo?

Not much, but watch it anyway for the opening. It’s classic Coulson.

You know, coming from anybody else, those words would be rather troubling. Anyway, this is actually part of Marvel’s series of short videos introducing each member of the cast. As they’re all original characters, they’re trying to get both people who’ve never flipped a comic book page and people who are currently arguing over whether or not J. August Richards is playing Luke Cage or Rage in the premiere episode. Mostly they’re an excuse to tease us with little bits of footage while denying us any ability to piece the whole episode together. But, if you’ve missed them, we’ve included them on the following pages.

People still talk like conspiracy theorists and broadcast out of vans? Didn’t that stop with The X-Files? On the other hand, her job seems to be “torturing the guy with a stick up his ass”, so that’s promising.

Fun fact: Ming Na-Wen, the actress here? She’s fifty. Seriously. Aside from that, she honestly seems to be the most interestingly characterized individual on the show; somebody who voluntarily took a desk job and who apparently really likes it.

Apparently these two are going to fill in the role that Willow had in Buffy, only split across both genders. We’re guessing that this decision was made because Joss Whedon got slipped a few million bucks by Facebook to destroy Tumblr.

We feel kind of bad for the actor here, who basically exists to guide new viewers through the show and be the butt of jokes. But at least he gets to punch people a lot, so there’s that.

Agents of SHIELD debuts September 24th

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